work in progress

Only knew the pain,
Have only known the stares.
Not knowing laughter, not thinking people care
Tears rolling down cheeks, hit lips as they quiver
causing bodies to shiver.
Arrows from bows,
pierce hearts left wide open
Pain of glitter, pain of light
blocking out laughter,
and walking into night.
The crazy night, with crazy dreams
crazy thoughts, with shrilling screams
nightmare of death, it haunts me
Spector of death......he taunts me.

Forces of Nature

Monsters lurk behind every corner.
Looking for ways to trip people up.
It seems as if our mind
is like a balloon in the wind,
blown here and there
by external circumstances.
With spilled milk being something
to not cry over.
Why are they on the floor?
Both tears and milk.

La Matadora - Work in Progress

Why does the pain linger?
Why does this pain last?
Why is it you, I've decided to hold my smitten gaze upon?
You showed the bull your red cape of love,
and pulled it away, just as the bull charged.
Stabbing him with your saber in his passing.

You left the bull staggering in pain.
Life hanging in peril, the bull is left with two choices;
He can lay down and allow the bull fighter to keep stabbing him
until he is completely drained of his love,
or he can charge the fighter head-on,
win the battle and come out the victor
in this bull fight of love.

Grateful Word Play

Hearts sink like the Titanic,
while the band keeps playing on.
The music never stops,
but our feelings for others do.
If you watch your speed,
you'll leave the trouble behind.
But, don't fall for the trappings of Eve,
like that Ship of Fools.
Just sail away,
before it's later than you think.

Prometheus

Forgive me............
for I used to keep my poetry a secret
but now it seems that the cat is out of the bag.
Pandora's Box of misery
is my box of music.
Trying not to abuse me
or to be used by,
any and all.
Trojan Horses, they sneak into
my soul and empty their contents,
like old pants pockets.
Lost pictures found in lockets,
give me hopes of memories old.
It's time to take hold of the reins,
and pull myself up by the boot straps.
Perhaps,
it's not for me to figure out.
Writing is the outlet,
the chicken soup for my soul.

Overcoming and Reaching Out

People don't know
just how to let go.
When you never know who you are,
But know what you could have been.
It all pours out, when I put paper to pen.
Ride it out to see the end.
Hands reached out, whose the real friend?
But there is another plan, in the palm of my hand.
But I'll be God damned, if I'll give it up.
Trade marked secrets,
minds never leaked this.
Never meeting any equals.
Not having any sequels, cause this is the end of the prequel.
Don't make me sneak who,
I wanna be.
Stop putting the obstacles in front of me.
Over coming hurdles,
while my blood it curdles.
Sometimes it boils, and yet I let it toil,
in the depths of me.
Just because of anger and new found pain.
As all these thoughts enter my brain,
I try and refrain,
to complain,
because it falls on deaf ears.
Yet, I love all my peers to tears.
So I leave you with my sincerest apology.
I don't know what has brought all this out of me?
In my mind's blind eye it's always a struggle,
when words and people float away, like a child's bubbles.

Short Sighted

I feel like my minds eye has been
poked by a stick that has left me blind.
Lost direction, mis-deeds and understandings,
patience worn thin.
The vale of calm has been lifted.
No sunshine getting in.
UV rays, and Purple Haze,
have clouded my mind.
Judgement on myself is hard.
But I'm my own worst critic.
Just let go,
but go slow.
Baby steps, baby steps.
Crawl, then walk......

Errors and Omissions

Life's little purpose it has no meaning,
looking inside myself, not liking the person I'm seeing.
Who is this being?
This reflection in the mirror.
Wishing I could see him a little more clearer.
Stop making wrong choices.
Moving away from the error of my ways.
Searching for days,
while holding on to minutes of the present.
I guess this is my life's sentence.
It's still my struggle to get by.
just life's way of serving me a slice of her humble pie.

Jellyfish

pain lingers and stings
like the burn from a jellyfish
it proves that we're alive and can feel
it proves that we're human, we're real.
when crying happens, it comes on fast
when crying comes, I never want it to last.
it washes away the old, and allows the new in
makes us feel like we can possibly win.

Heart Worn Thin

Feeling empty, now know why
lost girls I liked, is it too manly to cry?
Pain of letting go always remains.
It causes heartache, it causes pain.
Trapped in the illusion of the mind
wondering why I'll keep doing this, time after time?
Don't want anymore trouble,
don't want anymore pain.
Just need some answers,
to help me explain.

A Very Bad Day

Bad thoughts, they well up inside.
For the first time in my life, I really
wanted to die.
I let it all build up, can't take anymore.
Tired of all life's good, showing me
life's door.
Smiles on the outside,
frowns on the in.
When the darkness takes hold,
it's hard for me to win.

Backwards

We still need the rain,
to cleanse the world of it's daily sins.
Clouds clear way to brighter skies
and better days.
Sun shines after rain
causing rainbows in the mist.
As dew drops drip and form
brilliant colors.

Trust Issues

Careful to hold, careful to feel.
Careful to make sure, this time it's real.
Don't want to hurt, don't want to be mad.
Just want to stop, feeling so sad.

Guardian

Moving on to better days,
leads me to see happier rays of light,
keeping my mind in sight.
Holding on to things a little less tight.
Thinking about the plight out of darkness.
Will make some more wrongs, but only want to be right.
Hoping you'll watch over me,
You'll be my ray of light.

Hear me Roar

Lions let out huge roars in pride
Letting the world know
whose world we're
all visiting as we walk by.

Heaven's Gate

If there is a heaven, will I really be let in?
Will God, Jehovah, Allah, forgive me for my sins?
Or will they let the scares of my life
be my penance?
Having that be my final
life's sentence.
Or will they cast me down into despair?
A place so dark and lonely,
but I've already roamed there.

Plasma

Hearts like coconuts,
drip with life's blood
when cracked open
by the machetes of man.

Sadness

Even Fragile flowers
open when sun shines upon them.
While bees move from the bearers of sweet nectar
Stinging bearers of bad news
and the cycle of life ends.

Non-Destruction

Axes cut through wood
easier than fists break through walls.
Hearts break like glasses
stomped on to chants of Mazel Tov!

Auburn

Things too good to be true
are often overlooked.
Why do we fight to force them away?
When sometimes, things are what they seem.
When it is given with good intentions
why is it pushed away?
How do you show love
without pushing love away?

-JSN

New Beginnings

Second guessing my struggles,
wonder why?
Think about them once again,
start to cry.
Holding on maybe a little to tight.
Past failures, always trying to make them right.
Sit and stare, but always still staying there.
Moving on, that's my biggest fear.


-JSN

God's Porn over my pain.

God rains down golden showers.
Like lemon juice, it burns the scares of my past,
and keeps me from moving forward to a better place.
Then I realize I have to take a deep breath,
and watch my step, before I relapse in the abyss of depression.